One of the greatest tools I have in my medicine chest is also one of the biggest challenges I have faced in dealing with hypothyroidism – acceptance. Acceptance of my situation, acceptance of my body’s vulnerability and acceptance of my need for help. I found that for a long time, denial came much easier than acceptance. After learning I had low thyroid from blood tests, I thought for sure that I knew how to make myself feel better, and I certainly wasn’t going to need the help of a doctor or anyone else for that matter. I was armed with piles of organic food and all the knowledge one could ever hope to have, a la internet. I was going to simply heal myself. For a while, I managed to keep my little boat afloat, navigating the occasional whitewater but keeping what I convinced myself was on course. Everything was going just fine…that is until my little boat went over the waterfall, plummeting over the edge until it finally hit bottom.
Bottom, a.k.a. adrenal fatigue. A dark place that leaves you gasping for air and desperately searching for anything to cling on to so you can catch your breath. Here at Bottom, denial simply cannot exist. And here it was that I chose (was forced) to give in to acceptance. Acceptance gave me oxygen, gave me truth. The truth was that I needed help so I learned to open myself up to receiving help. The truth was that my body was in crisis and it needed my love. The truth was that I had no idea if I was going to be able to keep it together on a moment-to-moment basis. Opening my heart up to these realizations allowed me to discover a peace in myself I did not know. I received some beautiful advice during this time: This is my life, my story, so own it. Radical acceptance. That’s now what I am practicing on a daily basis. It has been one of the most important lessons I have learned so far on this path to healing. So now I’m back in my little boat again – with a paddle this time. The water is often choppy but some days still as glass. And some days I get tossed overboard. I am just trying to accept every single day as if I chose it myself.